How To Do A Grocery Store Bouquet Without DOING A Grocery Store Bouquet

My kids are seriously digging American school.  What’s not to love when they are handing out “devices” which look suspiciously similar to iPads in sixth grade, your name is Landon, you are a second grader, and the kid sitting next to you has the same name, the same grade and the exact same disposition for adventure and plotting his next superhero saga?

Of course being in high school has its perks, too, such as watching a Senior make a marriage proposal to his Sophmore girlfriend during lunch while texting your friends about Friday night froyo and pizza. Either that or dissecting owl puke.  That’s a real contender.  My 6th grader nearly puked at the dinner table as my youngest and oldest discussed the in’s and out’s of how owls eat, what happens afterwards, and what remains might be found… if you are lucky.

All this talk of owl puke made me think back to science experiments we used to do in school… in the ‘ol days when we had to write our notes… with our hands… and changing the color of a flower with a little dye in the water was… epic.

While most of us would probably love to have a European florist at our finger tips, I feel pretty lucky if I find a bouquet of flowers at the supermarket that doesn’t look like a science experiment gone wrong.  Supermarket varieties have gotten a bad rap over the years, but are they all bad?

Ahem.  (awkward throat clearing and a sudden and extraordinarily painful attempt at a British accent…)

I hypothesize that not all grocery store floral bouquets are bad…

But can she prove it? (you ask in an equally smart sounding voice.)

Everyone will know they came from the supermarket if they look like this.  So…

Even if every. single. last. person. you know will know that you did not pluck your flowers from your own garden, we want to collectively theorize that you could have… if you wanted to.  So, ditch the packaging and then ditch the stereotypical floral arrangement.  Fill a large vase with lukewarm water, the little packet of happy granules, and cut the stems at least by an inch and remove all the leaves that would touch the water.

Then, gather similar blooms and place them together in your vase and…  Voila!  Simple perfection!

Is it nearly as gripping as the science experiments of yesteryears?  Certainly not.  But the thrill of buying your toilet paper, your favorite gossip magazine, cheap beer and your flowers all at the same time?

Now, that is epic.