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House of Valentina

Designing the art of living

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Confidence is For Sale… Wait. What?

January 25, 2018 · In: Interior design



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Confidence: $120

Maybe you can by it.

Confidence isn’t for sale, but we women approach stores all the time like it is.  We stand there looking at the rack hoping that those skinny jeans will make us look ten pounds thinner while the blouse shouts out to the world on our behalf, “Hey!  I’ve got my junk together!”

My mom and I were talking recently after I posted about Sezane’s collection.  She said she loved the clothes but they only carried up to a size 12 which made her feel super excluded.   She went on to tell me about how my plus size grandmother lamented all the time about the fact that in her days she could either wear a mumu or take the walk of shame to the back corner of the department store where a few ugly options were lurking.

I felt two feet tall, which is kind of ironic since my height is the very thing that makes me feel like a freak.

I never felt self conscious about my height until we moved to Denmark.  It wasn’t that my petite statue hadn’t come up prior to that.  It just didn’t feel like an issue before then.  But suddenly my well intentioned friends started putting their elbow on my shoulder and using me as an arm rest… There were kids in my son’s kindergarten class that were taller than me!  (True story!)

Going clothes shopping was suddenly an annoyingly frustrating experience that ended in real tears more times than I care to count.  Picture racks of beautiful clothes all made for that tall, gorgeous Barbie-like Swedish model and me awkwardly trying on munchkin clothes with the “disappearing” waist band in the kids’ department.  

I made a lot of jokes about it but it was actually really humiliating until one day a guy friend of mine told me, “Guys don’t care about a woman’s size or whether they have a little extra here or there.  When she walks into the room without clothes the only thing he’s thinking is, ‘naked!’ while he claps his hands with delight.”

Geez, we overcomplicate this, don’t we girls?

Ladies, are you paying attention?  Clothes don’t make us confident or sexy.  They are just pieces of fabric sewn together.  We have got to stop waiting for the clothes to dress us up and start realizing that we dress up the clothes.  It doesn’t matter what size goes in the label, but who puts one leg in after the other into those pants that’s going to determine the outcome.

And PS. If something doesn’t fit stop blaming your body and start blaming the clothing companies that can’t keep up with our voluptuous variety of awesomeness.

So, today I’ve provided inspiration via Sezane because I love the way they put colors and textures together so seamlessly.  (Click on each photo to purchase or see more.) But I’ve also added in extra links below because we can get these looks no matter what size our fabulous bodies are!

 


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My five fave essentials for relaxing at home: cash My five fave essentials for relaxing at home: cashmere sweaters, comfy jeans, heels I can throw off, candles & coffee… all made even better with my best friend! 
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4. Add rough texture. Textures like concrete, wood, and even linen add a grittiness that can immediately make a space feel approachable and calming to the eye!
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