House of Valentina

Designing the art of living

Why It’s Ok That Moving Is Sad

· In: House Buying Tips


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I haven’t really talked about leaving Copenhagen.  We have definitely thought about it a lot but I was raised with the general consensus being that we are suppose to put a smile on our faces and fake happiness when necessary.  No one likes a negative person, right?

But moving is sad.  At least it is when you leave somewhere really special.  And when you leave people behind who really mattered to you, moving can be really painful.

My kids have expressed a lot of sadness about leaving their school, their friends, their home, and so much more.  While I realize that most people tend to stay within their own country when they move, and maybe their own town, even moving down the road can be a disruptor.

It’s not just the kids that get sad.  We grown ups deal with it, too. If we aren’t careful, we might try to simply focus on where we are going rather than giving ourselves the time and space we need to grieve what we left behind.

This is one of the reasons I have such a passion for working with real estate.  For me, it’s not just about closing a deal and getting others the place they want for the best price, but about being there for my clients as they make a huge transition.

We’ve moved 22 times in 17 years so that is a lot of good byes, and a lot of grief.  It brings me a lot of joy to know that I might be able to use that experience for good.

Here are my top 10 tips for Coping When Moving is Sad:

  1. Allow yourself (and your family!) time.  The old adage, “Time heals” really is true.
  2. Don’t try to stifle the sadness.  You’ll deal with the feelings a lot faster if you allow yourself to feel them.
  3. Don’t live in the past, but don’t blot it out either.  A healthy balance of looking back occasionally and celebrating the special memories you had will help you appreciate the new place even more!
  4. Plan a visit.  Planning a visit back might backfire, but planning for your friends to come to see you will go a long way to help you with the moving blues.
  5. Bring Your Traditions.  If you loved to play games around the dining table, then do that just as soon as you can in the new place!
  6. Find new Favorites.  If you had a favorite restaurant that you miss, try to find something similar or, if that isn’t possible, try something completely new!  I can’t tell you how many times we missed the pastries in Morocco… until we found new favorites in Denmark!
  7. Stay in Touch.  With social media these days, staying in touch with friends and family has never been so easy!
  8. Have a good cry later.  A lot of times we feel numb while we are moving.  It’s busy and chaotic.  Six months later the smallest thing might bring tears to your eyes.  It’s ok.  Let them fall.
  9. Stay Positive.  Remind yourself of what you have rather than focusing on what you left behind.  Remember why you decided to move in the first place, and if you didn’t make the decision for yourself, start counting the good things that have and will come from pursuing this change.
  10. Don’t compare.  Rarely does one person, place or thing hold up well to constant scrutiny.  The sooner you accept your new home, the happier you will be!

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Comments

  13. Thank you for sharing. We just moved a few days ago from beautiful Oxford (UK) to quite a different city. Ihave done it several times, to different countries and continents but Imguess we all need gentle reminders. Hope you and your family settle soon into your new home.

    Reply

  14. Thank you for sharing. We just moved a few days ago from beautiful Oxford (UK) to quite a different city. Ihave done it several times, to different countries and continents but Imguess we all need gentle reminders. Hope you and your family settle soon into your new home.

    Reply

  15. Thank you for sharing. We just moved a few days ago from beautiful Oxford (UK) to quite a different city. Ihave done it several times, to different countries and continents but Imguess we all need gentle reminders. Hope you and your family settle soon into your new home.

    Reply

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